Strange...

I was sure this was the way back to the pyramids...

It has been exactly ten days since we last died.

And?

I was just pointing out chances are you were wrong.

I'M AWARE!

At this point in time I have been instructed that I should inform you The Pyramids are in the exact opposite direction.

Are you fucking serious?!

Yes.

How far?

Well you have traveled in the wrong direction for the exact distance it would have taken to reach the pyramids had you been going in the right direction so...

It should take you twice as many days to get there. The same number to get back to your starting point and the same amount of time to go to your destination.

I hate everything right now...

Is lying down and dying an option?

If you don't manage to find a source of water or food soon it certainly is.

... oh Right.

Fuck.  

Onwards

So dying apparently reset somethings. We were lost in the desert when we woke up and it took a few days to get back to the challenges

Would have taken less time if you had followed my directions instead of guessing and doing that stupid finger thing.

Hey the finger thing works!

Maybe on a world that actually follows logical laws but not here.

Look we got back that's all that matters.

Right...

Proceed to challenge number 8

I know... I'm on it k?

 Good boy.

Really?

Shut up.

Oh god damn it back to this preschool bullshit?

The next challenge appears to be a giant puzzle with 8 pieces.

As in the pieces are giant. 

Drake is having absurd amounts of trouble moving them.

They appear to also be made of stone as opposed to cardboard. 

The pieces are numbered and there are indents in the floor with numbers. 

There is also a large number on the wall.

The number is 12.

I assume Drake that the correct option is to line up the numbered pieces with the indent numbers to equal the number 12.

Thank you captain obvious...

I assumed it was not that obvious since you were placing the piece numbered 6 into the slot numbered 3 at the time...

... Shut up.

Heh

You shut up too!

Drake has finished the puzzle in record time.

The record being longest time ever spent solving an extremely easy puzzle.

Seriously shut the hell up!

The puzzle was set in an 8 by 1 grid and now the pieces are falling into the floor creating a stairway.

Should I go down?

Probably...

But what about the other challenges what if this is a trap?

What if they are the trap?

What do you think Fake G?

Fake G? Really?

I am unable to give you any advice on this matter.

See it is a trap!

Drake has headed back to the door marked 9.

Upon opening the door he was sucked into a black hole...

We are back in the desert...

I must admit Drake.

You were totally right.

I am humbled by your genius.

It takes a big man to admit when he was wr-

... Shut up.

And your way with words is impeccable...          

Challenge 7

So first door... Door leads to a room with 4 crystal spheres.

This gonna be a super easy challenge or are we done with those now?

Probably done...

Probably?

I'm not told everything.

Ok then... Actual Genome any ideas what I need to do here?

Well 3 of the crystals represent primary colours and are on rotating pedestals the last is a secondary colour and on a fixed pedestal. That probably means something.

Ok... Yeah that's probably it. So guesses on what exactly needs to be done?

Don't know try and rotate a pedestal. 

Drake has rotated the red pedestal so the marking is facing away from the other 4 pedestals. The result is the fixed pedestal has changed to green.

He thinks he knows what to do he is turning the other pedestals away. The fixed pedestal is now white. Nothing has happened... 

Drake is annoyed. He has begun randomly shifting pedestals.

The colours are randomly changing with no real effect. 

Drake has pulled one of the crystals off of the pedestal. 

A new idea seems to of settled in his head.

He is beginning to change where the crystals are positioned.

He is shifting them again.

All the crystals are now white... They are sinking into the ground.

We have just exploded.

Congrats Drake your first failure.

Fucking ow...

That could be considered the basic result of failure...

At least until the third failure which you will not be recovering from.

Great...   

Pyramid 6

Stop it... Stop it... Stop it please?

Nope

How does this even work. You can't be in my head I don't have the mask anymore. So how did you access my mind. You should just be in the laptop if you're real.

Stupid question simple answer. Feel your face.

... How did you? I wasn't wearing this mask! It was destroyed I read...

this place and it's denizens can alter reality to it's will. I convinced them to bring back your mask so I could come.

Alright... WHY? I pointed out you always had reasons! You weren't just cruel for the fun of it. Why are you here?!

Second Chance Drake. For both of us. I survived you died. Neither of us got our wish. This time though we can make it to the end. Together...

... Alright

So Pyramid 6 is right over there...

Yeah!

I'm still here btw...

What seriously why are you here?

Because it won't be as amusing if someone isn't here to insult you just for the fun of it. Although really? Bold italics? Just use the bold.

Fine...

Ugh I still hate you both...

Anyways Pyramid 6 what's the challenge here?

I don't see anything.

Just a basic pyramid inside...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Wait for wha-

The floor opened and Drake fell into a metal hallway. 6 doors line the walls 3 on each side. The doors are numbered 7-12.

The fuck?

Welcome to the rest of your challenges...

What was the 6th challenge then?

Let's see if we can get this idiot to stand on a trapdoor for a minute.

I can hear you laughing Genome and it's not funny.

Yes... Yes it is.

Do not go back to humming!

I do what I want Drake!    

What the hell just happened?

I'm pretty sure I was just dead again for a few minutes. That feeling of complete oblivion that accompanies the endless sle-

Stop trying to be poetic. You were in a form of time stasis for... a time. Meanwhile I had to sit here talking to myself and you're unresponsive time locked self. Do you have any idea how boring that is? You are the most inconsiderate person I have ever met.

You know the real Genome would almost be preferable. At least if I didn't know you'd probably disappear when the challenges are complete.

Not going anywhere...

Yeah yeah whatever what's next?

Pyramid 5 sounds good.

Huh... There's a forest inside this pyramid...

A very familiar checkerboard patterned forest...

With a very familiar bonfire and barely hidden pile of bodies...

I'm about to be shot in the head aren't I?

Not if you-OH SHIT DUCK!

I ducked and the bullet whizzed over my head about a second later. I ran and hid behind a tree.

This is the challenge? Try not to fucking die again the same way I did last time?

That is a sick and twisted challenge!

Yeah that's not gradeschool math or kindergarten puzzles at all. Completely unfair.

Shut up! Or better yet figure out where the hell he is!

A bullet smashed through the tree inches from my head.

Probably the direction that came from.

You are the least helpful thing in existence...

It's a gift.

I ran to another tree which exploded into splinters as I neared it and I quickly turned and ran to another tree.

You're doing well.

Shut... the hell... Up.

It was pretty obvious where he was. Getting to him would be harder.

Actually beating him when you finally get to him will probably be the hard part...

Wait they're actually gonna make me fight him?! I read the blog after my death there's no way I can beat that guy.

Guess you're screwed then huh...

Shut up there has to be a way...

Decide fast

Why- A bullet smashed through the tree and clipped my shoulder with enough force to throw me facedown on the ground. I scrambled back up and began running again to a different tree. I hid and waited a few seconds but this time I didn't stay for long I darted out just as a bullet hit the tree and ran towards the source. I lunged through the bushes and tackled the figure on the other side. I expected a bullet to enter my brain any second but instead ahead of me the figure burst into words and disappeared as I landed face first on the ground.

Nice dive I give it a ten.

Fuck you... So I won right?

It seems so...

Hey... Um... Just out of curiousity...

What?

You're the one who was typing up all this right you know as it was happening?

No unlike the real Genome I don't actually possess that ability...

Wait you don't then how the fuck did this ju- Wait you just admitted to being fake!! HA I KNEW IT!

The deception is no longer necessary...

Cause I figured you out!

No... Because the real deal has just arrived hello Drake.

I missed you.