No seriously what the hell?
We appear to somehow still be alive...
Apologies did I forget to mention that your lives were replenished for the transition challenges. You still have 2 left.
What really? First: that's awesome this place actually did something fairly for once! Second: Fuck you for not telling us that earlier. You jerk.
So where are we now?
A temporary zone. You will be held here for a time and then you will be transported to your next transition challenge. I suggest you take the time to rest.
Will do...
Thursday 27 December 2012
Monday 24 December 2012
Transition challenge # 2
So we're in a room now... It seems to be just a hallway... The door is on the other side and the ceiling stretches off into darkness. I don't trust this...
You know it's Christmas Eve...
So? You're not Christian.
I know but still I can't believe I'm going to be busy fighting for my life through Christmas... It's just unthinkable...
Stop being a sentimental idiot and focus.
It's a hallway... Something will probably drop down from the ceiling as I try to get across. It's not really unpredictable...
Drake has stepped forward and...
Is that music?
Yes I believe it is...
I think it's that stupid song from that game...
Which game?
You know that old game. The one everyone loves. Um... Damn it what's it called?
Tetris
Right! Yeah, Tetris! Wait... Oh fuck Tetris...
Drake is looking up and sure enough there is a block falling down from the ceiling. I suggest running...
YEP!
Drake is running but the block has slammed down over the exit. It's a vertical I-Block and is blocking the exit. For scale each block section is the same height as Drake. Drake has stopped and is staring up at the sky. There is a J-block falling down now and Drake is moving backwards as it lands next to the I-block. An O-block has fallen behind him narrowly missing crushing him as he backed into it. There is now a T-block falling on his position. I suggest you climb up on the J-block to avoid it.
He has done so. The block falling has erased the bottom layer causing Drake to fall on his ass but the exit is still blocked by three segments of the I block. There are also still two sections of the O-block blocking the first two columns from the entrance, an empty spot in the third column, the top segment of the T-block in the 4th column, Drake is in the 5th column and the 6th column contains the two segments remaining of the J-block. Meaning three more layers must be destroyed in order to get to the exit. All while not getting crushed and hoping no more blocks fall in the 6th or 7th columns... Good luck Drake.
Fu...
Oh and then Drake was trapped by another falling T-block landing direct center on the remains of the first t-block... Guess you're safe for now but going to have to wait till another line is destroyed just to move again...
... Well this is boring...
An L-block has fallen on the remains of the O-block completing the second row line. Drake is no longer trapped and is now standing on the two high block wall in the 7th column. There are now two blocks in the 1st column, 1 in the 2nd column, 0 in the 3rd, 2 in the 4th, 0 in the 5th, 1 in the 6th, 2 and Drake in the 7th. Another block is falling. A Horizontal I-block has landed covering the third row at 3,4,5 and 6th columns. This is not good as it blocks the ability to destroy the lines below it without first destroying it.
No... Fuck it. I'm not going for the exit. I'm climbing this thing to the top.
But the exit-
Is probably just a trick. There's no way to get to it now. The Exit has to be the top of the screen.
If you say so...
Drake has climbed onto the horizontal I-block and is now standing in the third column. His arms are outspread. An O-block has landed on columns 6 and 7 followed immediately on the same spot by a J-block. An S-block then fell hanging on the edge of the J-block and another S-block fell on it creating a stairway which Drake quickly scaled to the top of the J-block. He is now 8 rows high and standing in the 7th column once again. A vertical I-block has fallen on the 3rd column. A horizontal I-block is falling now on the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th columns. Drake will have to drop down and become trapped or remain and be crushed.
No I'm jumping to the vertical I-block.
What? That's 4 squares away and 1 block above the one you're on.
Doing it anyways!
He's jumped... and actually managed somehow to make it. He obviously didn't jump on but managed to launch himself high and far enough to catch the edge with one hand and pull him up before the horizontal I-block landed.
Drake... I will never say this again. That was admittedly impressive.
Thanks.
It was also incredibly stupid. You are now 9 squares high. The standard Tetris game size is 10 columns by 22 rows with the top 2 rows offscreen. This would mean you have 11 more rows to climb. However since this game field is only 7 columns wide the number of rows high it is may be altered as well. So who knows. Good luck.
... Alright then.
A T-block has landed on columns 4, 5 and 6. An I-block has landed on 7. An S-block has landed on 5, 6 and 7. Drake has ran to 6 in order to dodge a Z-block landing on 3, 4 and 5. It was slid in from 2, 3 and 4 and so did not hit the S-block at 5. He has now climbed to 4 and jumped off onto the end of the S-block and climbed to the top of 7. He is now 12 rows high. Above there is now barely visible a swirling portal of some sort. The blocks are coming from it. It appears to only be 3 rows above us. Drake... You might actually reach the top.
A horizontal I-block has fallen onto 1, 2, 3 and 4 and an L-block has landed on 1 and 2. The top of the L-block is touching the portal. Drake if you can get up there before anything else lands on 1 you can make it.
Actually that's a good question... What happens if whoever's playing loses?
I assume all the blocks will disappear and you'll fall to your death...
Wait so if I had just gotten myself trapped down low I could have just waited it out?
Oh... Um... Oops...
... Well fuck no choice now.
An O-block has landed on 2 and 3 but this is not helpful it merely means that a block falling on 1, 2 or 3 will trigger game over. Another L-block has fallen on 4 and 5. A Z-block has slid into 5, 6 and 7 and Drake has managed to jump onto the edge before being crushed against the wall. Drake this is a stairway straight to the top! Run before another block falls!
Drake is running! He's managed to scramble onto the top of column 4! You made it Drake! You've gotten above the screen!
Fuck yeah! Wait... What did that just say?
Game over.
Oh son of a b-
The blocks have all disappeared and Drake is falling to his death. This being our last life I assume failure is imminent. Thank you very much Drake. You have ruined my chances.
Fuck y-
You know it's Christmas Eve...
So? You're not Christian.
I know but still I can't believe I'm going to be busy fighting for my life through Christmas... It's just unthinkable...
Stop being a sentimental idiot and focus.
It's a hallway... Something will probably drop down from the ceiling as I try to get across. It's not really unpredictable...
Drake has stepped forward and...
Is that music?
Yes I believe it is...
I think it's that stupid song from that game...
Which game?
You know that old game. The one everyone loves. Um... Damn it what's it called?
Tetris
Right! Yeah, Tetris! Wait... Oh fuck Tetris...
Drake is looking up and sure enough there is a block falling down from the ceiling. I suggest running...
YEP!
Drake is running but the block has slammed down over the exit. It's a vertical I-Block and is blocking the exit. For scale each block section is the same height as Drake. Drake has stopped and is staring up at the sky. There is a J-block falling down now and Drake is moving backwards as it lands next to the I-block. An O-block has fallen behind him narrowly missing crushing him as he backed into it. There is now a T-block falling on his position. I suggest you climb up on the J-block to avoid it.
He has done so. The block falling has erased the bottom layer causing Drake to fall on his ass but the exit is still blocked by three segments of the I block. There are also still two sections of the O-block blocking the first two columns from the entrance, an empty spot in the third column, the top segment of the T-block in the 4th column, Drake is in the 5th column and the 6th column contains the two segments remaining of the J-block. Meaning three more layers must be destroyed in order to get to the exit. All while not getting crushed and hoping no more blocks fall in the 6th or 7th columns... Good luck Drake.
Fu...
Oh and then Drake was trapped by another falling T-block landing direct center on the remains of the first t-block... Guess you're safe for now but going to have to wait till another line is destroyed just to move again...
... Well this is boring...
An L-block has fallen on the remains of the O-block completing the second row line. Drake is no longer trapped and is now standing on the two high block wall in the 7th column. There are now two blocks in the 1st column, 1 in the 2nd column, 0 in the 3rd, 2 in the 4th, 0 in the 5th, 1 in the 6th, 2 and Drake in the 7th. Another block is falling. A Horizontal I-block has landed covering the third row at 3,4,5 and 6th columns. This is not good as it blocks the ability to destroy the lines below it without first destroying it.
No... Fuck it. I'm not going for the exit. I'm climbing this thing to the top.
But the exit-
Is probably just a trick. There's no way to get to it now. The Exit has to be the top of the screen.
If you say so...
Drake has climbed onto the horizontal I-block and is now standing in the third column. His arms are outspread. An O-block has landed on columns 6 and 7 followed immediately on the same spot by a J-block. An S-block then fell hanging on the edge of the J-block and another S-block fell on it creating a stairway which Drake quickly scaled to the top of the J-block. He is now 8 rows high and standing in the 7th column once again. A vertical I-block has fallen on the 3rd column. A horizontal I-block is falling now on the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th columns. Drake will have to drop down and become trapped or remain and be crushed.
No I'm jumping to the vertical I-block.
What? That's 4 squares away and 1 block above the one you're on.
Doing it anyways!
He's jumped... and actually managed somehow to make it. He obviously didn't jump on but managed to launch himself high and far enough to catch the edge with one hand and pull him up before the horizontal I-block landed.
Drake... I will never say this again. That was admittedly impressive.
Thanks.
It was also incredibly stupid. You are now 9 squares high. The standard Tetris game size is 10 columns by 22 rows with the top 2 rows offscreen. This would mean you have 11 more rows to climb. However since this game field is only 7 columns wide the number of rows high it is may be altered as well. So who knows. Good luck.
... Alright then.
A T-block has landed on columns 4, 5 and 6. An I-block has landed on 7. An S-block has landed on 5, 6 and 7. Drake has ran to 6 in order to dodge a Z-block landing on 3, 4 and 5. It was slid in from 2, 3 and 4 and so did not hit the S-block at 5. He has now climbed to 4 and jumped off onto the end of the S-block and climbed to the top of 7. He is now 12 rows high. Above there is now barely visible a swirling portal of some sort. The blocks are coming from it. It appears to only be 3 rows above us. Drake... You might actually reach the top.
A horizontal I-block has fallen onto 1, 2, 3 and 4 and an L-block has landed on 1 and 2. The top of the L-block is touching the portal. Drake if you can get up there before anything else lands on 1 you can make it.
Actually that's a good question... What happens if whoever's playing loses?
I assume all the blocks will disappear and you'll fall to your death...
Wait so if I had just gotten myself trapped down low I could have just waited it out?
Oh... Um... Oops...
... Well fuck no choice now.
An O-block has landed on 2 and 3 but this is not helpful it merely means that a block falling on 1, 2 or 3 will trigger game over. Another L-block has fallen on 4 and 5. A Z-block has slid into 5, 6 and 7 and Drake has managed to jump onto the edge before being crushed against the wall. Drake this is a stairway straight to the top! Run before another block falls!
Drake is running! He's managed to scramble onto the top of column 4! You made it Drake! You've gotten above the screen!
Fuck yeah! Wait... What did that just say?
Game over.
Oh son of a b-
The blocks have all disappeared and Drake is falling to his death. This being our last life I assume failure is imminent. Thank you very much Drake. You have ruined my chances.
Fuck y-
Sunday 23 December 2012
Transition Challenge # 1
Ok so there's a table here now...
There's a pineapple on the table.
I think you're supposed to eat it.
I can't eat a pineapple...
Seriously? It's a god damn pineapple just eat it.
But I-
STFU and eat the god damn pineapple you stupid little man.
Fine!
Oh...
Fuck you...
Ok so apparently Drake is allergic to Pineapples...
He's glaring at me now but he stopped as he began throwing up again. The skin around his eyes are now all red and blotchy. I don't think he's in any serious danger...
Hate you so maaaaaghh!
Sorry you should have said you were allergic...
I tried you stupid fu-
Perhaps we'll wait until you're symptoms have subsided before continuing this argument...
No sorry. I'm afraid you cannot do that. Drake must complete the challenge before his symptoms subside.
Are you fucking ser-
What is the challenge then?
Look around.
Is that a microphone and Karaoke machine?
NOOOOOOOPE!
Oh hey you stopped vomiting?
Yeah I'm feeling be-
Oh nevermind...
Drake must sing through a song before his symptoms end.
Can't be done...
Sure it can.
But he'll be throwing up the whole time?
I never said he had to sing it well...
Alright... Well Drake looks like you've got to try and sing through it or we die.
Oh god why...
It seems there is only one song for selection...
Humbling river? The fu-
Ugh... That was gross
Shut up...
Well start going you don't have much time left I assume...
Ok fine...
The song has started...
My eyes are too swollen to see the lyrics.
Just try your best
Alrig-
Ok stop vomiting then try your best...
Nature, nurture heathens and hoes
Son of Al, and by them, driver
Toe conquer Berry mountain shawn
But I've never crossed the river
Braved the forests, braved the stone
Braved the icy winds and tire
Braved and blaaaaaaaaghh
...helpless by the river
Anger angel, what have I done?
I've faced the quakers, the wind, the fire
I've conquered country, grown, and throne
Why can't I cross this river?
Angel, angaaghh
Oh god whaaaaaagh
*Panting and retching*
...the battles you've run
It'll take a lot more than rage and muscle
Open your heart and hands, my son
Or you'll never make it over the river
It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than bitches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together-
Oh... Oh god I can't... I can't do anymore...
That's ok it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be anyways...
Wait what?
Drake's allergic reaction has disappeared and the door to the next challenge has opened. Drake is swearing profusely.
There's a pineapple on the table.
I think you're supposed to eat it.
I can't eat a pineapple...
Seriously? It's a god damn pineapple just eat it.
But I-
STFU and eat the god damn pineapple you stupid little man.
Fine!
Oh...
Fuck you...
Ok so apparently Drake is allergic to Pineapples...
He's glaring at me now but he stopped as he began throwing up again. The skin around his eyes are now all red and blotchy. I don't think he's in any serious danger...
Hate you so maaaaaghh!
Sorry you should have said you were allergic...
I tried you stupid fu-
Perhaps we'll wait until you're symptoms have subsided before continuing this argument...
No sorry. I'm afraid you cannot do that. Drake must complete the challenge before his symptoms subside.
Are you fucking ser-
What is the challenge then?
Look around.
Is that a microphone and Karaoke machine?
NOOOOOOOPE!
Oh hey you stopped vomiting?
Yeah I'm feeling be-
Oh nevermind...
Drake must sing through a song before his symptoms end.
Can't be done...
Sure it can.
But he'll be throwing up the whole time?
I never said he had to sing it well...
Alright... Well Drake looks like you've got to try and sing through it or we die.
Oh god why...
It seems there is only one song for selection...
Humbling river? The fu-
Ugh... That was gross
Shut up...
Well start going you don't have much time left I assume...
Ok fine...
The song has started...
My eyes are too swollen to see the lyrics.
Just try your best
Alrig-
Ok stop vomiting then try your best...
Nature, nurture heathens and hoes
Son of Al, and by them, driver
Toe conquer Berry mountain shawn
But I've never crossed the river
Braved the forests, braved the stone
Braved the icy winds and tire
Braved and blaaaaaaaaghh
...helpless by the river
Anger angel, what have I done?
I've faced the quakers, the wind, the fire
I've conquered country, grown, and throne
Why can't I cross this river?
Angel, angaaghh
Oh god whaaaaaagh
*Panting and retching*
...the battles you've run
It'll take a lot more than rage and muscle
Open your heart and hands, my son
Or you'll never make it over the river
It'll take a lot more than words and guns
A whole lot more than bitches and muscle
The hands of the many must join as one
And together-
Oh... Oh god I can't... I can't do anymore...
That's ok it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be anyways...
Wait what?
Drake's allergic reaction has disappeared and the door to the next challenge has opened. Drake is swearing profusely.
Saturday 22 December 2012
Reanimating
... Did we just get frozen again?
Yes.
... You're not The Fake Genome?
No I am The Glitch. I'm talking to you in the place of your guide.
Alright so why were we frozen?
The Game has changed.
That doesn't sound good.
We are going to be passing through a transition stage.
And?
You will be facing extra challenges until such time as the proper challenges start.
Great...
I don't know why but I blame you for this Genome.
I honestly could not care less Drake.
Really?
Yes I am too busy being pissed that my change to a human being is being delayed due to what sounds very much like a god damn clerical issue.
Woah... Um Genome?
What?
You're showing emotion again.
Drake... Shut up.
Yes.
... You're not The Fake Genome?
No I am The Glitch. I'm talking to you in the place of your guide.
Alright so why were we frozen?
The Game has changed.
That doesn't sound good.
We are going to be passing through a transition stage.
And?
You will be facing extra challenges until such time as the proper challenges start.
Great...
I don't know why but I blame you for this Genome.
I honestly could not care less Drake.
Really?
Yes I am too busy being pissed that my change to a human being is being delayed due to what sounds very much like a god damn clerical issue.
Woah... Um Genome?
What?
You're showing emotion again.
Drake... Shut up.
Tuesday 20 November 2012
Challenge 9
At the end of the maze there was a circular room. Drake took a rest here after the exertion in the maze and has woken up a day later. Meanwhile I had taken stock of the room. There are two doors. The one we came through and one in the opposite wall. In the center there is a pedestal with items resting on it. The room appears like an enclosed coliseum.
So what the hell am I supposed to do here?
I assume you're supposed to take whatever's on the pedestal and then judging by the appearance you're probably going to have to fight someone.
Drake has approached the pedestal on the pedestal were...
Nope...
You've got to be kidding me.
My Tonfas awesome!
You idiot you can't even use them!
But they're so cool!
He has picked up the tonfas. His knives have disappeared. The door in the opposite wall is opening and the sound of a cheering crowd echoes throughout the coliseum. Out of the opposite wall steps a wispy looking black haired girl. Her outfit is blue... very green and she's wielding dual tonfa like objects except bladed. Hey Drake why aren't your tonfas bladed...
Um couldn't find any...
You seem to be staring at her with some fixation?
Y... yeah I know her... sort of?
Oh really who is she?
Er... She's a character from a videogame... She's kind of the reason I decided to use Tonfas...
So she's the one responsible for that stupid decision?
Um yeah I suppose so...
Good I look forward to seeing you destroy her...
What but how?! I suck with tonfas and she's like a master! Besides... I sort of have like a crush on the character and...
... It's a video game character. Plus it's undoubtedly just one of the Tale Weaver's word creatures in the form of the character.
Well then beating her wouldn't be very satisfying regardless would it...
True but it might be good for you to- Look out!
Wha-FUCK!
The girl has charged Drake and jump kicked him in the face. He's gone down and she brought one of the blades down on his chest. He managed to narrowly avoid letting it stab through his heart and it instead merely sliced through his side. He is now running for his life.
SHUT UP! OH GOD I'M GOING TO DIE!
Fight you dumbass...
I CAN'T FIGHT HER!
Well then try running through the door she came through then... Maybe you can escape...
Good idea!
Wait where did she go?
What do you mean where'd she go she's ri-IN FRONT OF ME!
That was actually a rather impressive dodge... Sure it was the result of tripping and sliding under the attack while attempting to stop yourself but it worked and you managed to scythe her legs out from under her with your mad flailing.
No what are you doing she's on the ground don't run kill her!
With what?! These tonfa are non lethal!
Then just beat her in the head... Oh too late she's back up... Run.
Way ahead of you!
Where the hell is the door?!
It would appear that you have no choice but to beat her
Are you serious?!
Duck!
Drake has managed to duck a stabbing attack to the head however the second blade had unfortunately been coming in at groin height and has sliced his chest quite badly... Although bright side if you hadn't ducked it would have likely castrated you...
That's... very comforting... \
Oh suck it up it's not that deep a gash...
Why's she just standing there?
I don't know. You're the one who knows the character...
Um... Well she's supposed to be very pure and good and kind and stuff-
Well could have fooled me...
Maybe she won't attack me until I pick my weapons back up...
Stop you idiot! If you're right don't pick up the damn weapons until we have a plan...
Right...
Ok so any weaknesses you can think of?
In the game she doesn't do much in the way of damage but is one of the fastest attackers...
Since this is real life... At least mostly I don't think damage calculation matters here so forget that...
Well the aforementioned noble thing...
You going to try and trick her?
Um no that would just anger her... I have a better idea...
Drake has raised his hands and is attempting to inform the girl that he does not want to fight her...
I am pretty sure he is about to die...
Well I'll be damned... She's lowered her weapons...
She just disappeared...
Told you...
DO NOT GO BACK FOR THE TONFAS!
AGH alright alright fine...
The door is opening we are continuing forward.
Copyright Namco...
What was that?
Nothing important.
So what the hell am I supposed to do here?
I assume you're supposed to take whatever's on the pedestal and then judging by the appearance you're probably going to have to fight someone.
Drake has approached the pedestal on the pedestal were...
Nope...
You've got to be kidding me.
My Tonfas awesome!
You idiot you can't even use them!
But they're so cool!
He has picked up the tonfas. His knives have disappeared. The door in the opposite wall is opening and the sound of a cheering crowd echoes throughout the coliseum. Out of the opposite wall steps a wispy looking black haired girl. Her outfit is blue... very green and she's wielding dual tonfa like objects except bladed. Hey Drake why aren't your tonfas bladed...
Um couldn't find any...
You seem to be staring at her with some fixation?
Y... yeah I know her... sort of?
Oh really who is she?
Er... She's a character from a videogame... She's kind of the reason I decided to use Tonfas...
So she's the one responsible for that stupid decision?
Um yeah I suppose so...
Good I look forward to seeing you destroy her...
What but how?! I suck with tonfas and she's like a master! Besides... I sort of have like a crush on the character and...
... It's a video game character. Plus it's undoubtedly just one of the Tale Weaver's word creatures in the form of the character.
Well then beating her wouldn't be very satisfying regardless would it...
True but it might be good for you to- Look out!
Wha-FUCK!
The girl has charged Drake and jump kicked him in the face. He's gone down and she brought one of the blades down on his chest. He managed to narrowly avoid letting it stab through his heart and it instead merely sliced through his side. He is now running for his life.
SHUT UP! OH GOD I'M GOING TO DIE!
Fight you dumbass...
I CAN'T FIGHT HER!
Well then try running through the door she came through then... Maybe you can escape...
Good idea!
Wait where did she go?
What do you mean where'd she go she's ri-IN FRONT OF ME!
That was actually a rather impressive dodge... Sure it was the result of tripping and sliding under the attack while attempting to stop yourself but it worked and you managed to scythe her legs out from under her with your mad flailing.
No what are you doing she's on the ground don't run kill her!
With what?! These tonfa are non lethal!
Then just beat her in the head... Oh too late she's back up... Run.
Way ahead of you!
Where the hell is the door?!
It would appear that you have no choice but to beat her
Are you serious?!
Duck!
Drake has managed to duck a stabbing attack to the head however the second blade had unfortunately been coming in at groin height and has sliced his chest quite badly... Although bright side if you hadn't ducked it would have likely castrated you...
That's... very comforting... \
Oh suck it up it's not that deep a gash...
Why's she just standing there?
I don't know. You're the one who knows the character...
Um... Well she's supposed to be very pure and good and kind and stuff-
Well could have fooled me...
Maybe she won't attack me until I pick my weapons back up...
Stop you idiot! If you're right don't pick up the damn weapons until we have a plan...
Right...
Ok so any weaknesses you can think of?
In the game she doesn't do much in the way of damage but is one of the fastest attackers...
Since this is real life... At least mostly I don't think damage calculation matters here so forget that...
Well the aforementioned noble thing...
You going to try and trick her?
Um no that would just anger her... I have a better idea...
Drake has raised his hands and is attempting to inform the girl that he does not want to fight her...
I am pretty sure he is about to die...
Well I'll be damned... She's lowered her weapons...
She just disappeared...
Told you...
DO NOT GO BACK FOR THE TONFAS!
AGH alright alright fine...
The door is opening we are continuing forward.
Copyright Namco...
What was that?
Nothing important.
Sunday 18 November 2012
Challenge 8
So went down the stairs this time and found myself in a maze.
There was a line and a timer set to 30:00 minutes
I guess I have to get to the end before time runs out.
That seems logical...
Was that sarcasm?
Of course not.
...
I don't think the timer will start until I cross over the line so I'm taking a few minutes to plan.
Plan? It's a maze. What planning do you need?
Fine whatever...
Stepping over the line now.
Right
Left
Left
dead end
right
right
dead end
Maybe you should just go back to the start and start over this seems to go nowhere...
Starting over.
Straight
Left
Left
le- wait what?
What's wrong?
You just went left three times...
and?
That should have made you double back on yourself... But you didn't?
25:00
So what? You really think the laws of physics apply here?
It's worrisome...
Straight
Left
Right
Right
Left
Dead end
Retrace to second to last turn
Left
Dead end
Retrace...
Dead end...
Retrace more dead ends...
Shit we should just restart again...
Retracing steps...
Um...
I told you... I told you...
I can't get back... It doesn't turn! The maze has changed!
Go straight then it's the only choice.
Dead end.
You're trapped.
20:00
No no no! I'm not dying here!
Check the walls!
Secret path?! No the maze is changing again go!
Straight
left
left
straight
right
right
straight
Dead end
retrace
left
straight
right
Left
Straight
Light! Go you idiot don't just stand there!
Passed a line. The exit?
15:00
WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK?! I got through the maze! Stop the damn timer!
Checkpoint.
Halfway there.
What?
You're only half way through the maze keep going!
Straight
right
straight
right
left
right
dead end
retrace
left
trap!
GAH What the hell?!
It's just a water pit keep going!
10:00
Shut the hell up!
Ignore him go!
Left
Left
Straight
Left
Right
Another water trap
Swim faster
Oh great the rest of the maze is in water...
Left
dead end?
No wait dive! Under the wall!
Underwater tunnel...
Hold your breath and keep swimming!
There see that wasn't so hard
5:00
Left
Straight
Left
Left
Right
Straight
Left
Left
Left
Straight
1:00
Left
:59
Right
:58
Left
:57
Straight
:56
Left
:55
Left
:54
Right
:53
Straight
:52
Straight
:51
Dead end
:50
Don't give up!
:49
Left
:48
Right
:47
Straight
:46
Right
:45
What are you doing keep going!
:44
Straight
:43
Straight
:42
Left
:41
Right
:40
Times running out faster!
:39
Left
:38
Right
:37
Straight
:36
Left
:35
Dead End
:34
Come on Drake...
:33
Right
:32
Dead End
:31
No no no...
:30
Come on Drake please we need to succeed.
:29
Left
:28
Straight
:27
Straight
:26
Left
:25
It's The Exit!
:24
Don't pause run!
:23
Run you bastard!
:22
What the hell?!
:21
A glass maze?! Bullshit!
:20
Keep going!
:19
I think there's a way to the left!
:18
Yes yes!
:17
You're almost through!
:16
Come on.
:15
Come on!
:14
COME ON!
:13
YES THAT WAY GO
:12
Oh you idiot!
:11
Stop stumbling you didn't hit that hard!
:10
No come on please!
:9
You're out run!
:8
Stop stumbling run!
:7
You're so close run!
:6
RUN!!!
:5
Just a few more steps!
:4
MADE IT!!!
Congratulations... You've avoided death for one more day.
Ow my head...
Yeah it was kind of hilarious when you ran into that glass wall...
Shut up...
We made it though...
We actually made it...
Why were you so panicked? You already said you won't die with me.
I won't... I'll continue living...
Trapped forever.
Nothing but data.
Never feeling the sensation of touch... Never actually seeing anything. Nothing but knowledge and thought.
I want to be human again Drake.
I need you to make this happen.
I'll do my best.
I'd prefer you do much better than that...
Well there goes the tender moment...
Yes now let us never mention it again.
There was a line and a timer set to 30:00 minutes
I guess I have to get to the end before time runs out.
That seems logical...
Was that sarcasm?
Of course not.
...
I don't think the timer will start until I cross over the line so I'm taking a few minutes to plan.
Plan? It's a maze. What planning do you need?
Fine whatever...
Stepping over the line now.
Right
Left
Left
dead end
right
right
dead end
Maybe you should just go back to the start and start over this seems to go nowhere...
Starting over.
Straight
Left
Left
le- wait what?
What's wrong?
You just went left three times...
and?
That should have made you double back on yourself... But you didn't?
25:00
So what? You really think the laws of physics apply here?
It's worrisome...
Straight
Left
Right
Right
Left
Dead end
Retrace to second to last turn
Left
Dead end
Retrace...
Dead end...
Retrace more dead ends...
Shit we should just restart again...
Retracing steps...
Um...
I told you... I told you...
I can't get back... It doesn't turn! The maze has changed!
Go straight then it's the only choice.
Dead end.
You're trapped.
20:00
No no no! I'm not dying here!
Check the walls!
Secret path?! No the maze is changing again go!
Straight
left
left
straight
right
right
straight
Dead end
retrace
left
straight
right
Left
Straight
Light! Go you idiot don't just stand there!
Passed a line. The exit?
15:00
WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK?! I got through the maze! Stop the damn timer!
Checkpoint.
Halfway there.
What?
You're only half way through the maze keep going!
Straight
right
straight
right
left
right
dead end
retrace
left
trap!
GAH What the hell?!
It's just a water pit keep going!
10:00
Shut the hell up!
Ignore him go!
Left
Left
Straight
Left
Right
Another water trap
Swim faster
Oh great the rest of the maze is in water...
Left
dead end?
No wait dive! Under the wall!
Underwater tunnel...
Hold your breath and keep swimming!
There see that wasn't so hard
5:00
Left
Straight
Left
Left
Right
Straight
Left
Left
Left
Straight
1:00
Left
:59
Right
:58
Left
:57
Straight
:56
Left
:55
Left
:54
Right
:53
Straight
:52
Straight
:51
Dead end
:50
Don't give up!
:49
Left
:48
Right
:47
Straight
:46
Right
:45
What are you doing keep going!
:44
Straight
:43
Straight
:42
Left
:41
Right
:40
Times running out faster!
:39
Left
:38
Right
:37
Straight
:36
Left
:35
Dead End
:34
Come on Drake...
:33
Right
:32
Dead End
:31
No no no...
:30
Come on Drake please we need to succeed.
:29
Left
:28
Straight
:27
Straight
:26
Left
:25
It's The Exit!
:24
Don't pause run!
:23
Run you bastard!
:22
What the hell?!
:21
A glass maze?! Bullshit!
:20
Keep going!
:19
I think there's a way to the left!
:18
Yes yes!
:17
You're almost through!
:16
Come on.
:15
Come on!
:14
COME ON!
:13
YES THAT WAY GO
:12
Oh you idiot!
:11
Stop stumbling you didn't hit that hard!
:10
No come on please!
:9
You're out run!
:8
Stop stumbling run!
:7
You're so close run!
:6
RUN!!!
:5
Just a few more steps!
:4
MADE IT!!!
Congratulations... You've avoided death for one more day.
Ow my head...
Yeah it was kind of hilarious when you ran into that glass wall...
Shut up...
We made it though...
We actually made it...
Why were you so panicked? You already said you won't die with me.
I won't... I'll continue living...
Trapped forever.
Nothing but data.
Never feeling the sensation of touch... Never actually seeing anything. Nothing but knowledge and thought.
I want to be human again Drake.
I need you to make this happen.
I'll do my best.
I'd prefer you do much better than that...
Well there goes the tender moment...
Yes now let us never mention it again.
Saturday 17 November 2012
Back to the pyramids...
So short break to find some water and food and finally made it back.
Yeah... I actually made it. Take that.
We are in awe of your ability to not die.
Whatever...
Actually I must honestly say your foraging skills are quite good. It's not often one finds cartons of apple juice and pizza boxes in the desert.
Well you know... This place is weird and all. They probably just thought it would be a little too pathetic if I was done in by something like dehydration or malnutrition as opposed to being done in by their challenges.
You know that's actually somewhat interesting. Food and drink is a danger here but despite being in no way dressed for the desert the normal threat of intense heat does not seem to be present here.
Yeah I decided not to question that just in case it decided to randomly change it's mind.
Can we please just get on with this. Go head down the stairs to the next challenge.
Fuck that I just walked like... Who fucking knows how far. I am sitting down right here and eating some of my pizza and drink then taking a nap. I will go do the rest of the challenges tomorrow.
I must insist.
Not listening. Eating.
I must agree with Drake. It is likely a break will be beneficial for him and your goals. Besides waiting will make his horrible death most likely on the very next challenge all the more amusing.
Won't you die too if he fails?
No I will merely transfer myself back to the other blog in the event of his failure.
I can still hear you both...
Am I supposed to care?
... Of course what was I thinking.
Yeah... I actually made it. Take that.
We are in awe of your ability to not die.
Whatever...
Actually I must honestly say your foraging skills are quite good. It's not often one finds cartons of apple juice and pizza boxes in the desert.
Well you know... This place is weird and all. They probably just thought it would be a little too pathetic if I was done in by something like dehydration or malnutrition as opposed to being done in by their challenges.
You know that's actually somewhat interesting. Food and drink is a danger here but despite being in no way dressed for the desert the normal threat of intense heat does not seem to be present here.
Yeah I decided not to question that just in case it decided to randomly change it's mind.
Can we please just get on with this. Go head down the stairs to the next challenge.
Fuck that I just walked like... Who fucking knows how far. I am sitting down right here and eating some of my pizza and drink then taking a nap. I will go do the rest of the challenges tomorrow.
I must insist.
Not listening. Eating.
I must agree with Drake. It is likely a break will be beneficial for him and your goals. Besides waiting will make his horrible death most likely on the very next challenge all the more amusing.
Won't you die too if he fails?
No I will merely transfer myself back to the other blog in the event of his failure.
I can still hear you both...
Am I supposed to care?
... Of course what was I thinking.
Sunday 28 October 2012
Strange...
I was sure this was the way back to the pyramids...
It has been exactly ten days since we last died.
And?
I was just pointing out chances are you were wrong.
I'M AWARE!
At this point in time I have been instructed that I should inform you The Pyramids are in the exact opposite direction.
Are you fucking serious?!
Yes.
How far?
Well you have traveled in the wrong direction for the exact distance it would have taken to reach the pyramids had you been going in the right direction so...
It should take you twice as many days to get there. The same number to get back to your starting point and the same amount of time to go to your destination.
I hate everything right now...
Is lying down and dying an option?
If you don't manage to find a source of water or food soon it certainly is.
... oh Right.
Fuck.
It has been exactly ten days since we last died.
And?
I was just pointing out chances are you were wrong.
I'M AWARE!
At this point in time I have been instructed that I should inform you The Pyramids are in the exact opposite direction.
Are you fucking serious?!
Yes.
How far?
Well you have traveled in the wrong direction for the exact distance it would have taken to reach the pyramids had you been going in the right direction so...
It should take you twice as many days to get there. The same number to get back to your starting point and the same amount of time to go to your destination.
I hate everything right now...
Is lying down and dying an option?
If you don't manage to find a source of water or food soon it certainly is.
... oh Right.
Fuck.
Thursday 18 October 2012
Onwards
So dying apparently reset somethings. We were lost in the desert when we woke up and it took a few days to get back to the challenges
Would have taken less time if you had followed my directions instead of guessing and doing that stupid finger thing.
Hey the finger thing works!
Maybe on a world that actually follows logical laws but not here.
Look we got back that's all that matters.
Right...
Proceed to challenge number 8
I know... I'm on it k?
Good boy.
Really?
Shut up.
Oh god damn it back to this preschool bullshit?
The next challenge appears to be a giant puzzle with 8 pieces.
As in the pieces are giant.
Drake is having absurd amounts of trouble moving them.
They appear to also be made of stone as opposed to cardboard.
The pieces are numbered and there are indents in the floor with numbers.
There is also a large number on the wall.
The number is 12.
I assume Drake that the correct option is to line up the numbered pieces with the indent numbers to equal the number 12.
Thank you captain obvious...
I assumed it was not that obvious since you were placing the piece numbered 6 into the slot numbered 3 at the time...
... Shut up.
Heh
You shut up too!
Drake has finished the puzzle in record time.
The record being longest time ever spent solving an extremely easy puzzle.
Seriously shut the hell up!
The puzzle was set in an 8 by 1 grid and now the pieces are falling into the floor creating a stairway.
Should I go down?
Probably...
But what about the other challenges what if this is a trap?
What if they are the trap?
What do you think Fake G?
Fake G? Really?
I am unable to give you any advice on this matter.
See it is a trap!
Drake has headed back to the door marked 9.
Upon opening the door he was sucked into a black hole...
We are back in the desert...
I must admit Drake.
You were totally right.
I am humbled by your genius.
It takes a big man to admit when he was wr-
... Shut up.
And your way with words is impeccable...
Would have taken less time if you had followed my directions instead of guessing and doing that stupid finger thing.
Hey the finger thing works!
Maybe on a world that actually follows logical laws but not here.
Look we got back that's all that matters.
Right...
Proceed to challenge number 8
I know... I'm on it k?
Good boy.
Really?
Shut up.
Oh god damn it back to this preschool bullshit?
The next challenge appears to be a giant puzzle with 8 pieces.
As in the pieces are giant.
Drake is having absurd amounts of trouble moving them.
They appear to also be made of stone as opposed to cardboard.
The pieces are numbered and there are indents in the floor with numbers.
There is also a large number on the wall.
The number is 12.
I assume Drake that the correct option is to line up the numbered pieces with the indent numbers to equal the number 12.
Thank you captain obvious...
I assumed it was not that obvious since you were placing the piece numbered 6 into the slot numbered 3 at the time...
... Shut up.
Heh
You shut up too!
Drake has finished the puzzle in record time.
The record being longest time ever spent solving an extremely easy puzzle.
Seriously shut the hell up!
The puzzle was set in an 8 by 1 grid and now the pieces are falling into the floor creating a stairway.
Should I go down?
Probably...
But what about the other challenges what if this is a trap?
What if they are the trap?
What do you think Fake G?
Fake G? Really?
I am unable to give you any advice on this matter.
See it is a trap!
Drake has headed back to the door marked 9.
Upon opening the door he was sucked into a black hole...
We are back in the desert...
I must admit Drake.
You were totally right.
I am humbled by your genius.
It takes a big man to admit when he was wr-
... Shut up.
And your way with words is impeccable...
Monday 15 October 2012
Challenge 7
So first door... Door leads to a room with 4 crystal spheres.
This gonna be a super easy challenge or are we done with those now?
Probably done...
Probably?
I'm not told everything.
Ok then... Actual Genome any ideas what I need to do here?
Well 3 of the crystals represent primary colours and are on rotating pedestals the last is a secondary colour and on a fixed pedestal. That probably means something.
Ok... Yeah that's probably it. So guesses on what exactly needs to be done?
Don't know try and rotate a pedestal.
Drake has rotated the red pedestal so the marking is facing away from the other 4 pedestals. The result is the fixed pedestal has changed to green.
He thinks he knows what to do he is turning the other pedestals away. The fixed pedestal is now white. Nothing has happened...
Drake is annoyed. He has begun randomly shifting pedestals.
The colours are randomly changing with no real effect.
Drake has pulled one of the crystals off of the pedestal.
A new idea seems to of settled in his head.
He is beginning to change where the crystals are positioned.
He is shifting them again.
All the crystals are now white... They are sinking into the ground.
We have just exploded.
Congrats Drake your first failure.
Fucking ow...
That could be considered the basic result of failure...
At least until the third failure which you will not be recovering from.
Great...
This gonna be a super easy challenge or are we done with those now?
Probably done...
Probably?
I'm not told everything.
Ok then... Actual Genome any ideas what I need to do here?
Well 3 of the crystals represent primary colours and are on rotating pedestals the last is a secondary colour and on a fixed pedestal. That probably means something.
Ok... Yeah that's probably it. So guesses on what exactly needs to be done?
Don't know try and rotate a pedestal.
Drake has rotated the red pedestal so the marking is facing away from the other 4 pedestals. The result is the fixed pedestal has changed to green.
He thinks he knows what to do he is turning the other pedestals away. The fixed pedestal is now white. Nothing has happened...
Drake is annoyed. He has begun randomly shifting pedestals.
The colours are randomly changing with no real effect.
Drake has pulled one of the crystals off of the pedestal.
A new idea seems to of settled in his head.
He is beginning to change where the crystals are positioned.
He is shifting them again.
All the crystals are now white... They are sinking into the ground.
We have just exploded.
Congrats Drake your first failure.
Fucking ow...
That could be considered the basic result of failure...
At least until the third failure which you will not be recovering from.
Great...
Sunday 14 October 2012
Pyramid 6
Stop it... Stop it... Stop it please?
Nope
How does this even work. You can't be in my head I don't have the mask anymore. So how did you access my mind. You should just be in the laptop if you're real.
Stupid question simple answer. Feel your face.
... How did you? I wasn't wearing this mask! It was destroyed I read...
this place and it's denizens can alter reality to it's will. I convinced them to bring back your mask so I could come.
Alright... WHY? I pointed out you always had reasons! You weren't just cruel for the fun of it. Why are you here?!
Second Chance Drake. For both of us. I survived you died. Neither of us got our wish. This time though we can make it to the end. Together...
... Alright
So Pyramid 6 is right over there...
Yeah!
I'm still here btw...
What seriously why are you here?
Because it won't be as amusing if someone isn't here to insult you just for the fun of it. Although really? Bold italics? Just use the bold.
Fine...
Ugh I still hate you both...
Anyways Pyramid 6 what's the challenge here?
I don't see anything.
Just a basic pyramid inside...
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Wait for wha-
The floor opened and Drake fell into a metal hallway. 6 doors line the walls 3 on each side. The doors are numbered 7-12.
The fuck?
Welcome to the rest of your challenges...
What was the 6th challenge then?
Let's see if we can get this idiot to stand on a trapdoor for a minute.
I can hear you laughing Genome and it's not funny.
Yes... Yes it is.
Do not go back to humming!
I do what I want Drake!
Nope
How does this even work. You can't be in my head I don't have the mask anymore. So how did you access my mind. You should just be in the laptop if you're real.
Stupid question simple answer. Feel your face.
... How did you? I wasn't wearing this mask! It was destroyed I read...
this place and it's denizens can alter reality to it's will. I convinced them to bring back your mask so I could come.
Alright... WHY? I pointed out you always had reasons! You weren't just cruel for the fun of it. Why are you here?!
Second Chance Drake. For both of us. I survived you died. Neither of us got our wish. This time though we can make it to the end. Together...
... Alright
So Pyramid 6 is right over there...
Yeah!
I'm still here btw...
What seriously why are you here?
Because it won't be as amusing if someone isn't here to insult you just for the fun of it. Although really? Bold italics? Just use the bold.
Fine...
Ugh I still hate you both...
Anyways Pyramid 6 what's the challenge here?
I don't see anything.
Just a basic pyramid inside...
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Wait for wha-
The floor opened and Drake fell into a metal hallway. 6 doors line the walls 3 on each side. The doors are numbered 7-12.
The fuck?
Welcome to the rest of your challenges...
What was the 6th challenge then?
Let's see if we can get this idiot to stand on a trapdoor for a minute.
I can hear you laughing Genome and it's not funny.
Yes... Yes it is.
Do not go back to humming!
I do what I want Drake!
Saturday 13 October 2012
What the hell just happened?
I'm pretty sure I was just dead again for a few minutes. That feeling of complete oblivion that accompanies the endless sle-
Stop trying to be poetic. You were in a form of time stasis for... a time. Meanwhile I had to sit here talking to myself and you're unresponsive time locked self. Do you have any idea how boring that is? You are the most inconsiderate person I have ever met.
You know the real Genome would almost be preferable. At least if I didn't know you'd probably disappear when the challenges are complete.
Not going anywhere...
Yeah yeah whatever what's next?
Pyramid 5 sounds good.
Huh... There's a forest inside this pyramid...
A very familiar checkerboard patterned forest...
With a very familiar bonfire and barely hidden pile of bodies...
I'm about to be shot in the head aren't I?
Not if you-OH SHIT DUCK!
I ducked and the bullet whizzed over my head about a second later. I ran and hid behind a tree.
This is the challenge? Try not to fucking die again the same way I did last time?
That is a sick and twisted challenge!
Yeah that's not gradeschool math or kindergarten puzzles at all. Completely unfair.
Shut up! Or better yet figure out where the hell he is!
A bullet smashed through the tree inches from my head.
Probably the direction that came from.
You are the least helpful thing in existence...
It's a gift.
I ran to another tree which exploded into splinters as I neared it and I quickly turned and ran to another tree.
You're doing well.
Shut... the hell... Up.
It was pretty obvious where he was. Getting to him would be harder.
Actually beating him when you finally get to him will probably be the hard part...
Wait they're actually gonna make me fight him?! I read the blog after my death there's no way I can beat that guy.
Guess you're screwed then huh...
Shut up there has to be a way...
Decide fast
Why- A bullet smashed through the tree and clipped my shoulder with enough force to throw me facedown on the ground. I scrambled back up and began running again to a different tree. I hid and waited a few seconds but this time I didn't stay for long I darted out just as a bullet hit the tree and ran towards the source. I lunged through the bushes and tackled the figure on the other side. I expected a bullet to enter my brain any second but instead ahead of me the figure burst into words and disappeared as I landed face first on the ground.
Nice dive I give it a ten.
Fuck you... So I won right?
It seems so...
Hey... Um... Just out of curiousity...
What?
You're the one who was typing up all this right you know as it was happening?
No unlike the real Genome I don't actually possess that ability...
Wait you don't then how the fuck did this ju- Wait you just admitted to being fake!! HA I KNEW IT!
The deception is no longer necessary...
Cause I figured you out!
No... Because the real deal has just arrived hello Drake.
I missed you.
Stop trying to be poetic. You were in a form of time stasis for... a time. Meanwhile I had to sit here talking to myself and you're unresponsive time locked self. Do you have any idea how boring that is? You are the most inconsiderate person I have ever met.
You know the real Genome would almost be preferable. At least if I didn't know you'd probably disappear when the challenges are complete.
Not going anywhere...
Yeah yeah whatever what's next?
Pyramid 5 sounds good.
Huh... There's a forest inside this pyramid...
A very familiar checkerboard patterned forest...
With a very familiar bonfire and barely hidden pile of bodies...
I'm about to be shot in the head aren't I?
Not if you-OH SHIT DUCK!
I ducked and the bullet whizzed over my head about a second later. I ran and hid behind a tree.
This is the challenge? Try not to fucking die again the same way I did last time?
That is a sick and twisted challenge!
Yeah that's not gradeschool math or kindergarten puzzles at all. Completely unfair.
Shut up! Or better yet figure out where the hell he is!
A bullet smashed through the tree inches from my head.
Probably the direction that came from.
You are the least helpful thing in existence...
It's a gift.
I ran to another tree which exploded into splinters as I neared it and I quickly turned and ran to another tree.
You're doing well.
Shut... the hell... Up.
It was pretty obvious where he was. Getting to him would be harder.
Actually beating him when you finally get to him will probably be the hard part...
Wait they're actually gonna make me fight him?! I read the blog after my death there's no way I can beat that guy.
Guess you're screwed then huh...
Shut up there has to be a way...
Decide fast
Why- A bullet smashed through the tree and clipped my shoulder with enough force to throw me facedown on the ground. I scrambled back up and began running again to a different tree. I hid and waited a few seconds but this time I didn't stay for long I darted out just as a bullet hit the tree and ran towards the source. I lunged through the bushes and tackled the figure on the other side. I expected a bullet to enter my brain any second but instead ahead of me the figure burst into words and disappeared as I landed face first on the ground.
Nice dive I give it a ten.
Fuck you... So I won right?
It seems so...
Hey... Um... Just out of curiousity...
What?
You're the one who was typing up all this right you know as it was happening?
No unlike the real Genome I don't actually possess that ability...
Wait you don't then how the fuck did this ju- Wait you just admitted to being fake!! HA I KNEW IT!
The deception is no longer necessary...
Cause I figured you out!
No... Because the real deal has just arrived hello Drake.
I missed you.
Thursday 20 September 2012
Pyramid 4
Finally a fucking challenge...
He considers this a challenge? I think they might have set the bar a little high with those first few challenges.
Seriously fuck off.
Anyways so Pyramid 4 had a math problem. And it wasn't super easy addition.
It was 4^9/3 Unfortunately for the challenge I have a computer with a calculator and they didn't give me any thing saying I couldn't use it.
You are such a loser...
Also I am almost completely convinced this is not Genome.
Wait what? Of course I am.
No you're not.
What are you talking about?
You act like him and you use italics like him but you're too obviously him.
I've come to the conclusion you aren't the real deal you're a fake. The real one was cruel and used me and I always felt like h had no reason for it other than sadistic joy. But I know that he had a reason. He used me to help him win. He knew as I was I was a weakling and wouldn't survive. He used my hatred of him as motivation. You... You don't have a reason you're just here to be cruel. So you aren't Genome. You're just a fake created based on my own memories and opinions of him.
Wow... That's... Completely idiotic.
As expected.
... Fuck you.
He considers this a challenge? I think they might have set the bar a little high with those first few challenges.
Seriously fuck off.
Anyways so Pyramid 4 had a math problem. And it wasn't super easy addition.
It was 4^9/3 Unfortunately for the challenge I have a computer with a calculator and they didn't give me any thing saying I couldn't use it.
You are such a loser...
Also I am almost completely convinced this is not Genome.
Wait what? Of course I am.
No you're not.
What are you talking about?
You act like him and you use italics like him but you're too obviously him.
I've come to the conclusion you aren't the real deal you're a fake. The real one was cruel and used me and I always felt like h had no reason for it other than sadistic joy. But I know that he had a reason. He used me to help him win. He knew as I was I was a weakling and wouldn't survive. He used my hatred of him as motivation. You... You don't have a reason you're just here to be cruel. So you aren't Genome. You're just a fake created based on my own memories and opinions of him.
Wow... That's... Completely idiotic.
As expected.
... Fuck you.
Wednesday 19 September 2012
Pyramid 3
I'm going crazy. I keep seeing it but then it's not there I can't see it...
That's cause I'm hiding it.
Maybe he's hiding it...
You remember I can do that...
I remember he can do that...
But...
But why is he hiding?
Because it's more fun this way... Anyways:
On to pyramid 3. "Test your hand eye coordination to the very limit as you attempt to press this... Shiny red button!!"
Seriously what is this shit?
Well obviously they're catering to your mental abilities.
Shut up I haven't decided whether you exist or not yet!
Because that decision is totally up to you.
SHUT UP!
That's cause I'm hiding it.
Maybe he's hiding it...
You remember I can do that...
I remember he can do that...
But...
But why is he hiding?
Because it's more fun this way... Anyways:
On to pyramid 3. "Test your hand eye coordination to the very limit as you attempt to press this... Shiny red button!!"
Seriously what is this shit?
Well obviously they're catering to your mental abilities.
Shut up I haven't decided whether you exist or not yet!
Because that decision is totally up to you.
SHUT UP!
Tuesday 18 September 2012
Pyramid 2
That... That's funny I almost thought I saw... But I looked back and it was gone... Ha ha must just be hearing things yeah that's it...
Pyramid 2. "You must find the key that fits this door. You will never succeed for there are 5 keys and only one will fit this square lock. How can you possibly match the obvious square lock to the right key when all the keys are vastly different shapes!"
I almost feel insulted.
You will be...
No... I swear I just saw... He's not here... He's somewhere far away. Probably dead.
Hopefully dead!
You're right.
I know I am.
Wait...
Pyramid 2. "You must find the key that fits this door. You will never succeed for there are 5 keys and only one will fit this square lock. How can you possibly match the obvious square lock to the right key when all the keys are vastly different shapes!"
I almost feel insulted.
You will be...
No... I swear I just saw... He's not here... He's somewhere far away. Probably dead.
Hopefully dead!
You're right.
I know I am.
Wait...
Monday 17 September 2012
Pyramid 1
So the pyramids are numbered 1 through 14.
And apparently if I try to enter them out of order I will be disqualified and murdered horribly.
Well ok then.
First Pyramid. "You must defeat this brightly coloured enemy in a somewhat dark area. Watch as his bright red form is completely concealed in the semi-darkness..."
So yeah that was easy...
I think whoever organized this is trying to make it at my level which since I'm considered pitifully weak the challenges are hilariously easy...
I'm not complaining...
Next Pyramind!
Indeed...
And apparently if I try to enter them out of order I will be disqualified and murdered horribly.
Well ok then.
First Pyramid. "You must defeat this brightly coloured enemy in a somewhat dark area. Watch as his bright red form is completely concealed in the semi-darkness..."
So yeah that was easy...
I think whoever organized this is trying to make it at my level which since I'm considered pitifully weak the challenges are hilariously easy...
I'm not complaining...
Next Pyramind!
Indeed...
Sunday 16 September 2012
Victory is mine!
Also logic doesn't exist here aparently.
I raged for a bit at the indestructibility of ice before realizing I had my knife.
I attempted to stab the ice hoping to just crack it. Instead the ice began spouting sparkling water like blood from a wound. Ignoring the disturbing implications I took a nice refreshing swig.
Then there was a strange rumbling sound. Tiny hills started to grow out of the ground then they kept growing. Soon they were giant pyramids. Each one was numbered.
I don't like this...
At least there's no Genome so... Net gain.
I raged for a bit at the indestructibility of ice before realizing I had my knife.
I attempted to stab the ice hoping to just crack it. Instead the ice began spouting sparkling water like blood from a wound. Ignoring the disturbing implications I took a nice refreshing swig.
Then there was a strange rumbling sound. Tiny hills started to grow out of the ground then they kept growing. Soon they were giant pyramids. Each one was numbered.
I don't like this...
At least there's no Genome so... Net gain.
Thursday 13 September 2012
Damn you!
Finding something to drink is either my first challenge or I just really suck at this...
Been smashing at this ice with various objects for what feels like hours even tried just licking the ice.
Nothing is working and I'm getting really really thirsty...
Been smashing at this ice with various objects for what feels like hours even tried just licking the ice.
Nothing is working and I'm getting really really thirsty...
Wednesday 12 September 2012
Where the hell am I?
I'm in a random sandy desert. There are fir trees all around me and a frozen pond on the ground. I'm pretty sure this isn't normal. Also I have the weirdest pain in my neck. Feels stiff.
If I'm stuck in another god damn tournament with...
Wait... Oh my god... There's no voice in my head?! I'm... I'm free!
Oh my god Genome is gone! Yes! I don't care where I am at the moment there's no Geno- Wait um there is a pile of words or something "talking" to me.
"Solve challenges"
"Don't die."
That's... Simple...
I feel really thirsty how long have I been lying here?
Let's go see if I can drink from the ice pond.
If I'm stuck in another god damn tournament with...
Wait... Oh my god... There's no voice in my head?! I'm... I'm free!
Oh my god Genome is gone! Yes! I don't care where I am at the moment there's no Geno- Wait um there is a pile of words or something "talking" to me.
"Solve challenges"
"Don't die."
That's... Simple...
I feel really thirsty how long have I been lying here?
Let's go see if I can drink from the ice pond.
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