Challenge 9

At the end of the maze there was a circular room. Drake took a rest here after the exertion in the maze and has woken up a day later. Meanwhile I had taken stock of the room. There are two doors. The one we came through and one in the opposite wall. In the center there is a pedestal with items resting on it. The room appears like an enclosed coliseum. 

So what the hell am I supposed to do here?

I assume you're supposed to take whatever's on the pedestal and then judging by the appearance you're probably going to have to fight someone. 

Drake has approached the pedestal on the pedestal were...

Nope...

You've got to be kidding me.

My Tonfas awesome!

You idiot you can't even use them!

But they're so cool!

He has picked up the tonfas. His knives have disappeared. The door in the opposite wall is opening and the sound of a cheering crowd echoes throughout the coliseum. Out of the opposite wall steps a wispy looking black haired girl. Her outfit is blue... very green and she's wielding dual tonfa like objects except bladed. Hey Drake why aren't your tonfas bladed...

Um couldn't find any...

You seem to be staring at her with some fixation?

Y... yeah I know her... sort of?

Oh really who is she?

Er... She's a character from a videogame... She's kind of the reason I decided to use Tonfas...

So she's the one responsible for that stupid decision?

Um yeah I suppose so...

Good I look forward to seeing you destroy her...

What but how?! I suck with tonfas and she's like a master! Besides... I sort of have like a crush on the character and...

... It's a video game character. Plus it's undoubtedly just one of the Tale Weaver's word creatures in the form of the character.

Well then beating her wouldn't be very satisfying regardless would it...

True but it might be good for you to- Look out!

Wha-FUCK!

The girl has charged Drake and jump kicked him in the face. He's gone down and she brought one of the blades down on his chest. He managed to narrowly avoid letting it stab through his heart  and it instead merely sliced through his side. He is now running for his life. 

SHUT UP! OH GOD I'M GOING TO DIE! 

Fight you dumbass...

I CAN'T FIGHT HER!

Well then try running through the door she came through then... Maybe you can escape...

Good idea!

Wait where did she go?

What do you mean where'd she go she's ri-IN FRONT OF ME!

That was actually a rather impressive dodge... Sure it was the result of tripping and sliding under the attack while attempting to stop yourself but it worked and  you managed to scythe her legs out from under her with your mad flailing. 

No what are you doing she's on the ground don't run kill her!

With what?! These tonfa are non lethal!

Then just beat her in the head... Oh too late she's back up... Run.

Way ahead of you!

Where the hell is the door?!

It would appear that you have no choice but to beat her

Are you serious?!

Duck!

Drake has managed to duck a stabbing attack to the head however the second blade had unfortunately been coming in at groin height and has sliced his chest quite badly... Although bright side if you hadn't ducked it would have likely castrated you...

That's... very comforting... \

Oh suck it up it's not that deep a gash...

Why's she just standing there?

I don't know. You're the one who knows the character...

Um... Well she's supposed to be very pure and good and kind and stuff-

Well could have fooled me...

Maybe she won't attack me until I pick my weapons back up...

Stop you idiot! If you're right don't pick up the damn weapons until we have a plan...

Right...

Ok so any weaknesses you can think of?

In the game she doesn't do much in the way of damage but is one of the fastest attackers...

Since this is real life... At least mostly I don't think damage calculation matters here so forget that...

Well the aforementioned noble thing...

You going to try and trick her?

Um no that would just anger her... I have a better idea...

Drake has raised his hands and is attempting to inform the girl that he does not want to fight her...

I am pretty sure he is about to die...

Well I'll be damned... She's lowered her weapons...

She just disappeared...

Told you...

DO NOT GO BACK FOR THE TONFAS!

AGH alright alright fine...

The door is opening we are continuing forward. 

Copyright Namco...

What was that?

Nothing important.   

Challenge 8

So went down the stairs this time and found myself in a maze.

There was a line and a timer set to 30:00 minutes

I guess I have to get to the end before time runs out.

That seems logical...

Was that sarcasm?

Of course not.

...

I don't think the timer will start until I cross over the line so I'm taking a few minutes to plan.

Plan? It's a maze. What planning do you need?

Fine whatever...

Stepping over the line now.

Right

Left

Left

dead end

right 

right 

dead end

Maybe you should just go back to the start and start over this seems to go nowhere...

Starting over. 

Straight

Left

Left

le- wait what?

What's wrong?

You just went left three times...

and?

That should have made you double back on yourself... But you didn't?

25:00

So what? You really think the laws of physics apply here?

It's worrisome... 

Straight

Left

Right

Right

Left

Dead end

Retrace to second to last turn

Left

Dead end

Retrace...

Dead end...

Retrace more dead ends...

Shit we should just restart again...

Retracing steps...

Um...

I told you... I told you...

I can't get back... It doesn't turn! The maze has changed!

Go straight then it's the only choice.

Dead end.

You're trapped.

20:00

No no no! I'm not dying here!

Check the walls!

Secret path?! No the maze is changing again go!

Straight 

left

left

straight

right

right

straight

Dead end

retrace

left

straight

right

Left

Straight

Light! Go you idiot don't just stand there!

Passed a line. The exit?

15:00

WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK?! I got through the maze! Stop the damn timer!

Checkpoint.

Halfway there.

What?

You're only half way through the maze keep going!

Straight

right

straight

right

left

right

dead end

retrace

left

trap!

GAH What the hell?!

It's just a water pit keep going!

10:00

Shut the hell up!

Ignore him go!

Left
 
Left

Straight

Left

Right

Another water trap

Swim faster

Oh great the rest of the maze is in water...

Left

dead end?

No wait dive! Under the wall!

Underwater tunnel...

Hold your breath and keep swimming!

There see that wasn't so hard

5:00

Left

Straight

Left

Left

Right

Straight

Left

Left

Left 

Straight

1:00

Left

:59

Right

:58

 Left

:57

Straight

:56

Left 

:55

Left

:54

Right

:53

Straight

:52

Straight

:51

Dead end

:50

 Don't give up!

:49

 Left

 :48

Right

:47

Straight

:46

Right

:45

What are you doing keep going!

:44

Straight

:43

Straight

:42

Left

:41

Right

:40

Times running out faster!

:39

Left

:38

Right

:37

Straight

:36

Left

:35

Dead End

:34

Come on Drake...

:33

Right

:32

Dead End

:31

No no no...

:30

Come on Drake please we need to succeed.

:29

Left 

:28

Straight

:27

Straight

:26

Left

:25

It's The Exit!

:24

Don't pause run!

:23

Run you bastard!

:22

What the hell?! 

:21

A glass maze?! Bullshit!
 
:20

Keep going!

:19

I think there's a way to the left!

:18

Yes yes!

:17

You're almost through!

:16

Come on.

:15

Come on!

:14

COME ON!

:13

YES THAT WAY GO

:12

Oh you idiot!

:11

Stop stumbling you didn't hit that hard!

:10

No come on please!

:9

You're out run!

:8

Stop stumbling run!

:7

You're so close run!

:6

 RUN!!!

:5

Just a few more steps!

:4  

MADE IT!!!

Congratulations... You've avoided death for one more day.

Ow my head...

Yeah it was kind of hilarious when you ran into that glass wall...

Shut up...

We made it though...

We actually made it...

Why were you so panicked? You already said you won't die with me.

I won't... I'll continue living...

Trapped forever.

Nothing but data.

Never feeling the sensation of touch... Never actually seeing anything. Nothing but knowledge and thought.

I want to be human again Drake.

I need you to make this happen.

I'll do my best.

I'd prefer you do much better than that...

Well there goes the tender moment...

Yes now let us never mention it again.         

Back to the pyramids...

So short break to find some water and food and finally made it back.

Yeah... I actually made it. Take that.

We are in awe of your ability to not die.

Whatever...

Actually I must honestly say your foraging skills are quite good. It's not often one finds cartons of apple juice and pizza boxes in the desert.

Well you know... This place is weird and all. They probably just thought it would be a little too pathetic if I was done in by something like dehydration or malnutrition as opposed to being done in by their challenges.

You know that's actually somewhat interesting. Food and drink is a danger here but despite being in no way dressed for the desert the normal threat of intense heat does not seem to be present here.

Yeah I decided not to question that just in case it decided to randomly change it's mind.

Can we please just get on with this. Go head down the stairs to the next challenge.

Fuck that I just walked like... Who fucking knows how far. I am sitting down right here and eating some of my pizza and drink then taking a nap. I will go do the rest of the challenges tomorrow.

I must insist.

Not listening. Eating.

I must agree with Drake. It is likely a break will be beneficial for him and your goals. Besides waiting will make his horrible death most likely on the very next challenge all the more amusing.

Won't you die too if he fails?

No I will merely transfer myself back to the other blog in the event of his failure.

I can still hear you both...

Am I supposed to care?

... Of course what was I thinking.